4 words: hood of his car
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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