yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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