So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
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you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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