new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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