And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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