She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
