his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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