Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
