I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
