im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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