Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
