whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
