More tranny stories later!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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