I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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