I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
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You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
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Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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