just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
