I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
