I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
