I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
