I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
