I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
