if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
