You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize