I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
