but the lizard people decide everything anyway
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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