We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
