Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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