After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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