The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
