This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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