Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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