stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize