Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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