I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
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I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
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it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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