Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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