I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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