I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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