Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Drunk is not a location!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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