Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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