This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize