Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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