you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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