i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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