every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
