hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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