You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize