Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
