Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
