I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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