Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
