I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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