Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
