Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
