she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Pooping to opera.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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