hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
