shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
