I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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