apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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