Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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