gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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