I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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